We all know that feeling..What if I had said how I feel? What if I had attended that audition? What if, What if and What if?!
To be very direct, we have two choices:
Let these regrets fester or do something about them.
Ok, this sounds a lot simpler than it actually is, as the reality of both can be terrifying. We need to do something about them, which again comes down to to two choices:
Let go..or say/do what we wished we had, before we had regrets.
This mainly comes from inner strength. This is a strength you didn’t know you had, but one that drives you to do what will make YOU happy. Whether it’s setting up your own theatre company, saying sorry to someone who means a great deal to you, or making a romantic deceleration, these are all things that could make you happy, so what do you have to lose? Pride? Ego? Reputation? So what?! Life is too short to make decisions based on what could go wrong, think what could go right. Please bare this in mind, if something means a lot to you, then it’s worth pursuing and especially if it will benefit others too.
As always, remember to be kind to others as well as yourself!
As Artists we are vulnerable. The ones who deny that, are not telling the whole truth. We want praise, to feel validated as a creative and that what we believe in, has resonated with others too. Someone says I want to work with you, we get excited. We must work together..this gets the heart racing. Only problem with this, is the fact, in most instances, these people who speak these words are not entirely as they seem.
Perhaps opportunists is a strong word, but as a female creative we meet these often, some so cleverly disguised, they could give chameleons a run for their money. These are usually men in the industry who try to use their status to reel in women they find attractive, with promises of “collaborating” although their definition is less honourable than the dictionary definition.
Of course, this scenario happens in many different careers and not just to women, but the arts I feel, we need to speak out more about our lives as female creatives, to create a sense of unity.
My advice to make sure you do not get reeled in by these wolves, in a pug outfit, is trust your intuition, be cautious and if something doesn’t feel right….it’s not. You will know when someone genuinely believes in you, they will act with integrity and never sleazy behaviour.
Remember you have gifts, respect them and yourself. Surround yourself with those who respect you and never be patronised. Always.
Make a cup of tea, start your day and then it starts…the smile. The smile that masks a thousand words, that are unsaid. The smile that everyone thinks you are so lucky to be wearing. Why wouldn’t you be? You do a job you love, you aren’t constricted by one with set hours, life is a peach..isn’t it?
It’s when that giant crane digs up the earth, it finds underneath the foundations of that smile we all us on tap as performers, writers, creatives. We use it as a mechanism, to keep us going and keeping up appearances, a sort of Hyacinth Bucket surburbia style. We will say we don’t do this, but ultimately we all do it.
We need to be open with each other, that we all don’t have the perfect life we seem to so often radiate, not by a mile, not even close. It is almost as if it we feel weak or a failure, to admit when things aren’t tickety boo. In the Arts, let’s be open and listen to others, make us realise we are all in this together, for better or worse and need to help each other out.
Why don’t we tell each other how we are feeling…deal?