Being Productive..When You Are Not Feeling It

Your cup of hot chocolate is positioned beside you, the laptop is right in front of you and the ideas are flowing faster than Niagra Falls…Only they are not. The waterfall has hit some rocks, in other words, you can’t seem to motivate yourself to be productive creatively.

We have ALL been there and can protest as much we want, but sometimes life intervenes and can freeze our ideas. Our lives can throw us unexpected surprises- good and bad, that change our direction or outlook. We can become determined with ourselves to acheive something, rather than just enjoying what we are doing.

The moment we do something solely for ourselves is when we get that glow, glint in our eye, so a real zest for life. When we pressure ourselves with self imposed deadlines and restrictions, that’s when the lightbulb moments dissapear and we feel restricted and trapped.

A main focus should always be what makes us feel happy and fulfilled, not what will look good on social media or in comparison to others. We are individuals and should embrace that, not feel anixous or embarrased about what we are writing or performing a certain piece of music. If it comes from your heart and brings you joy, that’s what truly matters.

Next time you are feeling unproductive, just remember you are not alone and we are all in the same boat.

Have a wonderful week and be kind. 💜

Guest Blog From This Stuff Is Golden: Public Image Vs Internal Reality

I think most mothers post candid photos of their families; their kids making a mess at breakfast, the pet dog taking a nap whilst cuddling up with the youngest child, the middle child playing dress up and wearing every single item of costume clothing that they own. Sometimes I wonder if many mothers (or fathers) would be willing to publish some of the other common family moments that happen day-to-day, the ones that aren’t so pretty to look at.

Not only would parenting-guilt stand in the way of taking a photo of a child having a tantrum or crying, but would anybody like to see that side of family life? Would anybody be that honest and tell the world that actually, parenting is really hard and sometimes it feels like a prison sentence rather than a 24/7 exchange of unconditional love?

In my 14-month long experience of parenting, all of it has been filled with love, but that does not mean that there hasn’t been moments of dislike and irritation and angry frustration. My daughter may be just a toddler but when the moments arise when I lack the ability to make her happy, or to calm her down, or desperately need just have five minutes peace – it can push the boundaries of my patience, I get angry and I’m not as empathetic as I should be. In those moments, I wish for somebody else to swoop in and look after my toddler for me.

And of course, I never let that side of my parenting style come out in public, let alone post it on social media, because of course, that’s just not what you want people to see. As a mother especially, you want friends, family, acquaintances, even followers, to see that you have a charming, smart, happy little child because that means that you are nailing this parenting thing, your decisions on how to raise a human-being are practically flawless.

I cling on to any other parent who openly speaks about their struggles with me, because I know that it is such a rarity. We cling to what we believe others want to see from us, what parenting and family life should be like – even though inside we are deeply troubled by our lack of sleep, our lack of confidence in this brand new endeavour, and the overwhelming way in which our lives have been completely turned upside down.

I haven’t (yet) taken a photo of my daughter upset and published it, because frankly, the only thing I want to do in that situation is diffuse it. However – I am more than fine with the idea of conversing with other parents about the day-to-day struggles of raising a child, though I’m still happy to post pictures of my daughter looking like the sweetheart she is, because, what can I say, I am a stereotypically proud parent, who wants to show off the most beautiful baby in the world, regardless of how tough the day (or year) has been.

Lauren is a writer, artist, advocate, mother of 1 living in Scotland. She writes openly and honestly about all sorts of things, has way too many creative interests, and is continuously trying to figure life out.
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Lauren and I have swapped a blog post, each with the same title! Check out my guest post for her, on her blog This Stuff Is Golden

Self-Pressure Extinguishes Creative Fire

No, this isnt an article about candles, as much as I love my scented candles, this is about that Mid-January slump. I have heard numerous people proclaiming, that January feels like the longest month ever. All those New Years resolutions are falling apart at the seams already? It’s simply because that creative fire within us at the beginning of this month, to make plans and ‘changes’, has been extinguished, by our own self-pressure.

We are constantly comparing, analysing and you name it, we do it to ourselves! This constant chipping away at our being, means we increase the pressure to improve what we see as imperfections, rather than embracing them. Let’s keep that fire burning for change in another area of our life…Our Happiness.

Being happy, is the kindest thing we can do, for our own well-being. Embracing what makes us filled with joy and identifying what does not, might sound easy, but it can be a journey. Without sounding really clichéd, this is a journey of self-discovery.

What makes us happy?

Most of us know what makes us happy, but the self-discovery is finding ways to actually make it happen, at our own pace, with zero pressure.

For example, if we love to bake, we need to go and buy ingredients to make that cake, or in most cases, realize those ingredients are already sitting in the cupboard! This is also a great analogy for a lot of areas of our lives. What we want to acheive is within our grasp, we have to go get it and be kind to ourselves.

Have a beautiful day, be kind.💜